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Search Results 0 to 13 of about 14 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Jan 31, 2013 7:00pm PST
we fix anywhere else? >> well, our big cause in the united states is education. we're incredibly thankful to all the help we had that allowed us to be successful. >> stephen: did you -- was there a bill gates in your past? was there somebody like bill gates in your snancht no, but the whole environment where i got a great education. my wife did. warren buffett who provides half of resphortsz foundation, he is super thankful he grew up here. we wanted to pick the most important thing for the country, whether it's equity or success for the country i think said case is the right choice. >> stephen: when you go around the world do you wear an american flag so people know it's american money, a ten gallon hat, something like that? do they know you're american? >> oh, yeah. they hope american innovation and generosity continues to lead the world. [cheers and applause] >> stephen: you can applaud america. [cheers and applause] you are not day-to-day at microsoft anymore. you are still charm but not day-to-day. >> that's right. >> stephen: do you miss the rough and tumble. do you say i'm
Comedy Central
Feb 7, 2013 11:30pm PST
's all about education. we're teaching children, isolated by their identity, there's absolutely no adult they can trust. [laughter] next up on the m-s-g-t-t-s-l-t-l-p-w's. [laughter] [cheers and applause] nation, i'm sick of moochers who get paid to sit around all day. and so are these experts who are paid to sit around all day and complain about the moochers. >> more and more able-bodied people are becoming dependent upon the government than upon themselves for their livelihoods. >> in '91, individuals in 41 million american households were receiving some kind of entitlement. now the number is an astounding 107 million americans, an increase of 161%. can you believe it? >> the country has become dependent, more people receiving the benefits of government that there is a lot more people who want to suck on the teat of the state. [laughter] >> stephen: true. even worse, it forces us to hear charles krauthammer say "suck on the teat." [gagging] [laughter] [gagging] [laughter] well, thankfully another gop state senator slash potential presidential hopeful has a bold solution to this problem
Comedy Central
Feb 4, 2013 10:30am PST
of education, the southern states passed nullification and they had to send troops to arkansas to ensure the federal law. >> stephen: where do the states get off? when does the state in the constitution that the feds can tell the state what's to do? >> article 6 in the -- >> stephen: okay, okay quick draw mcgraw over there. the tenth amendment said ifing something is not specifically covered the right goods to the states. maybe nullification is say special right. >> if you think there's a constitutional violation you file suit in court. as the supreme court said in stephon marbury versus madison the supreme court said. >> stephen: the supreme court said the supreme court says what is constitutional. >> that's exactly right. >> stephen: how conscreenent it's called activity judges right there. >> it's called article 3 of the constitution because article 3 says that the judicial power of the united states rests in the supreme court and the other federal courts. >> stephen: there's nothing in the constitution that says the constitution is constitutional. check and mate! [ laughter ] >> wron
Comedy Central
Feb 4, 2013 11:30pm PST
security, medicare, public education-- that all americans are slowly losing. [ laughter ] but, folks, dont think this is some blanket amnesty with no price to pay. just ask florida senator and registered latino marco rubio. >> you have to identity yourself. you're going to be fingerprinted. you're going to have a background check done. >> stephen: yes, they must be fingerprinted, and have background checks. after all, they're trying to get citizenship, not an assault weapon. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] these people love assault weapons. [ laughter ] folks, this completely changes how republicans will be perceived through the latino lens. >> i think it's going to revive the republican party among hispanics. >> it takes away from democrats the race card and it also lets nervous white voters know this is not a racist party. >> the one thing about if this plan comes to pass, how are the democrats going to call republicans racist anymore? they're going to take it off the table. >> stephen: yes, republicans will take racism off the table-- or have their busboy do it. [ laughter ] either w
Comedy Central
Feb 6, 2013 11:30pm PST
is a lobby group that "aims to inform and educate policymakers, consumers, and the media about the penny's economic, cultural, and historical significance." that's right, historical significance. for instance: did you know, historians tell us there was a time when pennies were useful. [laughter] and americans for common sense backs everything up with science evidence, like a recent poll which showed that "almost two-thirds of americans still feel the penny should be retained." and you can trust that poll, because it was conducted by leading opinion researchers coinstar. [laughter] of course. [ laughter ] coinstar, clearly impartial. they don't care if the government got rid of all change. there are still plenty of metal disks for them to count. who doesn't want to know how many washers you have in your pocket? [laughter] of course, cynics say americans for common cents can't be trusted just because "they are run by the main lobbyist representing the zinc industry, which supplies most of the metal used in pennies." [laughter] turns out pennies are mostly zinc. that's why whenever i feel a
Search Results 0 to 13 of about 14 (some duplicates have been removed)